Ant ya ever coming back, ant ya?
The husb heard some snooty-foodie radio show about parsnips. He told me they look like white carrots and are supposed to be delicious. I said, "Hey, they have those at the co-op grocery near my office." So I bought some parsnips, but they were actually daikon root, which I thought was a fancy name for "parsnips". I was, as usual, wrong. Unsure exactly what to do with them, we left the bag on the counter.
Two days later, the ants arrived.
I have a history with ants. I hate them. They always seem to show up just when I'm at some breaking point or another.
Incident 1:
I was in seventh grade, ugly and unfashionable and unpopular and all zitty, and we had just left our old house to live in our new house. Life in the new house was super stressful, because the people who lived there before us somehow hid the fact that they were horrible slobs. The day we showed up to move in, they were like, "Oh, our daughter needs to stay another day, is that okay?" And they left so much crap in the house, including dirty dishes in the dishwasher--that we were all a wreck. I hated my bedroom, which was dirty and gross and the closet was filled with these creepy tiny glass animals.
So, I woke up one morning, feeling all defeated (this was a daily occurrence), and found that there were GIANT ANTS swarming in my bedroom. They were on the walls, on the bed, in my clothes, all over the floor--canvassing the place. We called this type "carpenter ants", and they were 1/2 inch (1.25 cm) long. I couldn't even get dressed because they were in my open dresser drawers. I even remember what I wore to school that day: my denim vest/shorts combo, over a turquoise faux polo (fauxlo?), with my turquoise Minnie Mouse socks, which I had totally intended to stop wearing after sixth grade. They were the only "safe" clothes, and I was quite aware that I looked even more unfashionable than usual.
Just another day of feeling ugly and gross (I believe the clinical term for that is "middle school"), made 100 times worse by ants.
Incident 2:
The day I moved to California--flew across the country, anxiety eating me alive (because I am not really a wandering spirit, and pretty much moved out here because the someday-husb was moving, and I couldn't think of anywhere else to go after college), I got to the apartment complex where he'd found a one-bedroom, and it was in the ghetto and there were a lot of ladies of ill repute living there (although the place was fortress-like and nicely kept, but let's face it, don't go outside the gates at night, and if you are one of my friends who makes fun of me for not liking to leave my house, have some compassion because I think it all started there)... so I went to put my stuff away--
And my suitcase was FULL of ants. Just overflowing with them. Ants everywhere, in and on all of my clothes, etc. And it was horrible, horrible, because I didn't even know where to start to get rid of them. I ended up soaking everything in the tub and then laundering all of it. And getting bitten.
Incident 3:
(Present day.) So anyway, there's this never-ending line of ants, and we have no bug spray in the house (that stuff is noxious anyway), so I went online to look for natural remedies.
#1: Cinnamon. Sprinkle some cinnamon on the ants, and in their path. They dislike it and will go away.
I don't know if they loved the cinnamon--they definitely didn't sit around eating it or anything--but as a deterrent, it was roughly as effective as a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday!" would have been.
#2: Vinegar. Mix a solution of 1 part water and 1 part white vinegar and spray it in their path. They dislike it and will go away.
I enthusiastically sprayed not only the floor and counter but also each individual ant. This technique did not seem to please the ants, but it did not deter them.
#3: Soap. Make a solution of dish soap and water, and spray lightly on the ants' path.
As an added bonus, this may ruin your floors and also create a horrible slipping hazard. Floors slippery? Check! Ants gone? Nope.
#4: Baby powder. Sprinkle baby powder liberally in the ants path.
At first, this seemed not only incredibly messy but also silly. Like the cinnamon, the ants seemed intent on avoiding the baby powder, but did not seem to take it as a message to turn around and go home. But as I sat there, watching individual ants, something amazing happened--
It worked! One of the most fascinating things was that you could dip your finger in baby powder and trace a circle around an ant--it could even been so faint that you couldn't see it. But the ant in question would be like, "Whoa! Don't want to go that way! Whoa, don't want to go that way! Whoa, don't want to go that way... wait a second...!"
So I sprinkled it liberally (understatement alert) all over the path the ants had taken. I sprinkled it on the wall they were walking down. Then I went to bed.
The next morning, no ants. None. And since then, no ants. None!
Baby powder wins. And then you just wipe it up with a damp paper towel. Who knew?
Two days later, the ants arrived.
I have a history with ants. I hate them. They always seem to show up just when I'm at some breaking point or another.
Incident 1:
I was in seventh grade, ugly and unfashionable and unpopular and all zitty, and we had just left our old house to live in our new house. Life in the new house was super stressful, because the people who lived there before us somehow hid the fact that they were horrible slobs. The day we showed up to move in, they were like, "Oh, our daughter needs to stay another day, is that okay?" And they left so much crap in the house, including dirty dishes in the dishwasher--that we were all a wreck. I hated my bedroom, which was dirty and gross and the closet was filled with these creepy tiny glass animals.
So, I woke up one morning, feeling all defeated (this was a daily occurrence), and found that there were GIANT ANTS swarming in my bedroom. They were on the walls, on the bed, in my clothes, all over the floor--canvassing the place. We called this type "carpenter ants", and they were 1/2 inch (1.25 cm) long. I couldn't even get dressed because they were in my open dresser drawers. I even remember what I wore to school that day: my denim vest/shorts combo, over a turquoise faux polo (fauxlo?), with my turquoise Minnie Mouse socks, which I had totally intended to stop wearing after sixth grade. They were the only "safe" clothes, and I was quite aware that I looked even more unfashionable than usual.
Just another day of feeling ugly and gross (I believe the clinical term for that is "middle school"), made 100 times worse by ants.
Incident 2:
The day I moved to California--flew across the country, anxiety eating me alive (because I am not really a wandering spirit, and pretty much moved out here because the someday-husb was moving, and I couldn't think of anywhere else to go after college), I got to the apartment complex where he'd found a one-bedroom, and it was in the ghetto and there were a lot of ladies of ill repute living there (although the place was fortress-like and nicely kept, but let's face it, don't go outside the gates at night, and if you are one of my friends who makes fun of me for not liking to leave my house, have some compassion because I think it all started there)... so I went to put my stuff away--
And my suitcase was FULL of ants. Just overflowing with them. Ants everywhere, in and on all of my clothes, etc. And it was horrible, horrible, because I didn't even know where to start to get rid of them. I ended up soaking everything in the tub and then laundering all of it. And getting bitten.
Incident 3:
(Present day.) So anyway, there's this never-ending line of ants, and we have no bug spray in the house (that stuff is noxious anyway), so I went online to look for natural remedies.
#1: Cinnamon. Sprinkle some cinnamon on the ants, and in their path. They dislike it and will go away.
I don't know if they loved the cinnamon--they definitely didn't sit around eating it or anything--but as a deterrent, it was roughly as effective as a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday!" would have been.
#2: Vinegar. Mix a solution of 1 part water and 1 part white vinegar and spray it in their path. They dislike it and will go away.
I enthusiastically sprayed not only the floor and counter but also each individual ant. This technique did not seem to please the ants, but it did not deter them.
#3: Soap. Make a solution of dish soap and water, and spray lightly on the ants' path.
As an added bonus, this may ruin your floors and also create a horrible slipping hazard. Floors slippery? Check! Ants gone? Nope.
#4: Baby powder. Sprinkle baby powder liberally in the ants path.
At first, this seemed not only incredibly messy but also silly. Like the cinnamon, the ants seemed intent on avoiding the baby powder, but did not seem to take it as a message to turn around and go home. But as I sat there, watching individual ants, something amazing happened--
It worked! One of the most fascinating things was that you could dip your finger in baby powder and trace a circle around an ant--it could even been so faint that you couldn't see it. But the ant in question would be like, "Whoa! Don't want to go that way! Whoa, don't want to go that way! Whoa, don't want to go that way... wait a second...!"
So I sprinkled it liberally (understatement alert) all over the path the ants had taken. I sprinkled it on the wall they were walking down. Then I went to bed.
The next morning, no ants. None. And since then, no ants. None!
Baby powder wins. And then you just wipe it up with a damp paper towel. Who knew?
Labels: domesticness, life, stuff i dislike
posted by Katie Alender at
9:10 AM
Blog RSS feed
14 Comments:
You poor delirious thing you! These ants have been fed, bathed, powdered, and some of them now have been relieved of that 'not so fresh' feeling and you think they're gone? Heck no, they've gone to get ma, pa, and the kids 'cause Hee-Haw!! Katie's kitchen is the place to be!
BTW, I win the awkward unpopular teenager award hands down! From being fat with frizzy hair and buck teeth, to acne and coke bottle glasses! I dare you to do better than that!
We tend to get ants in our church basement (not lots but some). I myself prefer chemicals - the stronger the better but I'll tell them about the baby powder.
The only run in I've had with ants was waiting for the bus when I was in college. I did not know I was standing on a GIANT fire ant hill. I figured it out when they started to bite. I ran like a crazy woman back into the apartment complex, shedding my clothes and jumped into the pool.
Glad most everyone had left for work already as I was just about naked by the time I hit the pool.
Katie-
What got the ants all carrraaazy was the application of all the methods described: Cinnamon, vinegar, soap, and baby powder. If memory serves me right, many of the chemical weapons used by the Central Powers in WWI involved these ingredients. As a matter of fact, your inadvertent concoction might be in violation of several articles of the Treaty of Versailles.
BTW, I'll bet you walls are now soft as a baby's bottom:0)
I have to keep my level of smart-Aleckiness in check since Auntie A visits your blog and will more than likely read this. I don’t want to get in trouble.
Say, have you tried a flame thrower? I heard it works wonders. How about napalm?
ROFL My husband hates ants with the same vigor and relishes spraying them with the most noxious fumes (mind you, we have kids). I on the other hand, have the patience to take away the item they are currently relishing and wait for them to just go back to where they came from. I had tried the cinnamon but not the baby powder. BTW, baby powder is just AWESOME to get sand off of you after the beach (except it leaves my brown kids a bit ashy looking).
laura said..."You poor delirious thing you! These ants have been fed, bathed, powdered, and some of them now have been relieved of that 'not so fresh' feeling and you think they're gone?"
Oh, I don't think I have EVER laughed as hard at something on the internet as I just did to that comment. OMG. Laura, I don't know who you are, but that was BRILLIANT.
I am still laughing.
Katie - I forgot what I was going to say to you.
I read this with great pleasure, partly because it is so well written, but also because I knew the answer and I could NOT wait to tell you how you could get rid of your ants with baby powder -- and then I got to the end and realized you already knew.
Phooey. But -- at least you know what to do! And if they do come back, another dose of baby powder is all it will take. If only it worked with cockroaches...
Were you really awkward and homely as a teenager? I'm pretty sure you could not have topped me. Someone once told me that my teenage years would be the best time of my life. I wanted to cry. I wish someone had told me what a complete lie that was; it really would have cheered me up.
Laura, if the ants come back, I'm blaming YOU! And as to the teenage awkwardness, we may have to set up some sort of contest that involves photos!
Adrienne, I hope baby powder works for your church... and fire ants! Ugh, the WORST! Just the thought of those bright orange bodies makes me feel all squirmy and gross. I think you were completely justified in your public strippage!
Tom, hopefully I haven't created some mutant super-ant creature that will come back and do all the same things to me! I haven't resorted a flame-thrower yet, but in college we used to pour tiny sips of our fruity frozen drinks on them, and that also seemed quite effective (but best to do out of doors).
Lilia, now you're making me wonder if they just left because we got rid of the daikon root! Oh well. We've never had an ant problem in California, and it scared me silly, because we aren't careful enough about food to guard against ant invasion. I reserve the noxious fumes for poisonous spiders!
4Horses, that's okay... Laura's brilliance deserves recognition!
Mary, sorry to trump you! ;-) And yes, I was really very awkward as a pre-teen/teen. I had a series of bad haircuts and unfortunate wardrobe choices. In my seventh-grade school photo, I looked like the actor from these commercials selling encyclopedias. It was terrible. By the end of eighth grade, things were looking up, although I was never what you'd call a fashion plate or anything.
shudder. I hate ants. I think it all the segments in their body.
Eileen, someday I'll have to tell you my potato bug story! You want to talk about shuddering... ugh!
Bad haircuts and unfortunate wardrobe choices -- Katie, that was ME!
I had my hair cut at a place called Sheer Delight, where young women who had failed their haircutting tests were given a second chance. I'm not kidding. And my mother, bless her, had no fashion sense, and thought that if something was on sale and could be zipped or buttoned, it should be purchased. I was once the owner (and wearer) of a double knit yellow lace pants suit. I still shiver, remembering it.
Mary, Sheer Delight sounds like the basis for a wonderful comic novel. *hint hint hint *
Love the baby-powder ant tip; I'll have to try that this summer when they come in looking for water/sugar/grease/whatever-the-heck-it-is that drives them indoors. (My most recent experience was with grain-of-sand sized teeny red ants. They're so small they sort of looked like tiny specks of my Corian countertop come to life. Good thing I'm the sober sort or I'd have been checking myself into rehab!
I have found that in the absence of actual bug killing spray, hairspray does a fabulous job on most unwanted household pests (wait--"unwanted" and "household pests" is kind of redundant, isn't it?) Anyway, a good squirt of Tresemme (extra hold) stops em dead in their tracks.
Maere, thanks for commenting!
We had those little ants in Florida... we called them either "sugar ants" or "piss ants" (very civilized) depending, I guess, on what mood we were in when we found them.
Do try the baby powder. Startlingly effective.
And I know I've used hairspray on bugs in the past, but I don't remember it working. Probably it was some giant spider or something and the hold just wasn't strong enough. Besides, then Laura would just accuse me of giving the ants makeovers.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home